careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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