dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
