I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize