his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
