I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
