all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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