you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
