So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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