There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
