im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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