i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
