Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
