Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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