She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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