There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
