I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
