carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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