new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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