bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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