I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
