I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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