so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
