Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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