The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
