I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
