my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
