I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
