I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
