We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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