he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
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