He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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