toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have aggressive nipples.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
