Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
