Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
