he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
