Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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