On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
