Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize