Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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