hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
