Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
