I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
