what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
