Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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