Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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