counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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