If that was your dad, he is hot
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
