how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
