So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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