who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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