He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
