Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
