I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
