So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
