You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
