At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You can't motorboat a personality
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
