And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
