You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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