party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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