nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
