awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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