we're blogging at a bar
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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