they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
